yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
this just has baby written all over it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
