fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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