youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
