haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
