I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I need a beard to bite.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
