I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
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she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
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He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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