Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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