I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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