the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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