we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
