She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
