oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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