pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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