I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
