Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize