Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
