It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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