You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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