2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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