So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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