i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
