Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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