His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
