shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
True college students do jello shots in the library
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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