Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
