you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
