she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
