Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
