Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
