he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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