She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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