she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
