I wanna bring you to show and tell
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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