I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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