I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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