I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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