either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
