By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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