Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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