Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
