I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize