My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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