He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize