he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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