i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It's just like the Real World with babies
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize