Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
