My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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