All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
