Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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