Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
