yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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