nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
