Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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