It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
