I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
