Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
