bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
