I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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