I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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