Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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