Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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