My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
